Pants
by starwanker
Summary: Can Daxter be tied down? Is there a girl willing to tie him down? One shot DaxTess. Mild language, very suggestive themes. Rewritten.


"Daxxie?"

"Yeah, toots?"

"Name that one, up there."

"What? The one next to the greenish pair?"

"Yeah, that group a little to the...to the...to the left."

"Did you just have to do that L thing with your fingers so you could tell left from right?"

"..._yes_. Don't make fun of me!"

"I'm not, I'm not."

"Name them."

"Oh, oh yeah. Hmm. Do you see what I see?"

"Uhh..."

"An octopus holding a giant mushroom."

"No..."

"See, that star riiight under the green ones. That part's the

mushroom tip."

"Hehehe; mushroom tip."

"Oh yeah, something you're quite familiar with. Perhaps you can get reacquainted with such a thing later tongith?"

"Finish showing me the octopus."

"Right. Okay, see the triangle. These three?"

"Oh! It's the cap!"

"Yep, and then there's a weird rectangle. See, jetting out diagonally. Right there to the left."

"The stem?"

"Bingo. And then right next to it is this like swirly curve of stars, there's like four."

"I see it! And the cluster waaay over there is the head?"

"Alright, star gazing's done, let's fu-"

"Daxxie?"

"Yeah, Tess?"

"I love you." She waited in dark silence as he shifted underneath her. His arms pulled away a bit and he cleared his throat.

"Daxxie?"

"I...I...love you too." It was small, vaguely feeble, and sounded as if though he had a gun to head.

"Daxter?"

"Yeah?" Now he almost sounded annoyed.

"Do you mean it?"

"Well, I'm out here, ain't I? Showing you some damn constellations I just made up instead of inside the bar, drinking with some other chicks." He said. She suddenly twisted around in his arms to face him.

"Dax?"

"Mhhm?"

"I love you." She lowered her voice, in that way that only she could, and snuggled herself into his furry chest, wrapping her tiny arms around his lanky waist. He smiled down at her whisker and breath nuzzling into his chest, he couldn't really help it. Despite the naturalness of it all, he still felt bizarrely out of place. Awkward. "I love you, Tess." This time he said it clearer, if not a bit forced, and pressed his nose into her hair.

"Daxxie?" She lifts her head to his.

"What?"

"I'm really glad I asked for a pair of pants that day. Just like yours."

"Really?"

"I knew what I was doing."

"You don't mind...being an Ottsel?"

"Not if it means _being _with you." A strong, physical emphasis on being.

"_Being_?"

"_You know._"

"Oooh, _being_!"

"I think you have a mushroom tip that requires my attention?"

"The hell I do! Bout time, honey! I was getting frisky over here!"

"Just do me one thing first."

"Anything!"

"Name that one, over there, next to that big purply tower."

"Whaa?"

"_Daxter!_"

"Okay, okay. I see aaaa...uhh…ummm...huh."

"What."

"You're not gonna wanna know."

"What is it? What do you see?"

"Jugs."

"Oh, how? Oh! Oh! Are those three the handles of one?"

"Wha-oh, no, not _that_ type of jug."

"Then wha-"

"Titties, Tess. Tits. Two circles with a star in the middle of each."

"Ooh, okay, I see it. Ew. Of course you would say that."

"Can you blame me? You've got me all riled up."

"I do, do I? I'll show you riled."

"Oh will you?"

"Yeah I will."

"Come here then." Just as she closed in for the kiss, she pulled away, letting him fall forward.

"Wait, no! Stop!"

"What now?"

"You cheated!"

"How, what-how did I cheat? You asked for more stars and I gave you more stars."

"That was too easy. Besides, you did boobs. Do something real."

"And boobs aren't real?"

"Too easy."

"Fine, fine. How about...that one. There."

"Where?"

"Up there next to the moon."

"Which moon?"

"The lower one. That group just below it. It looks like a heart."

"How?"

"There's the point, those four that make a triangle, and then the two humps on top are right there and there."

"Aww! I see it! Oh Daxter!"

"Ha, you like that?"

"Yeah, that was sweet. Okay, I'm ready."

"You sure this time? No more stars?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Cause I'm gonna get mad if you go and give me blue balls just cause you wanna look at more stars."

"I'm ready."

"Good, now let's get this party-"

"Hey Dax!" a voice interjected, pausing the two in embrace.

"WHAT NOW!"

"Come on down to the bar, I need you to help me with something."

"NOT NOW, JAK!"

"Come on, sweetie pie." She got up and took his dazed, stiff hand.

"Whaaa! No, Tess, I will _not _come on!"

"Dax?" the other voice called once."

"We're coming!" She called down happily as she pulled him to his feet. His frown stretched ear to ear, but she held his hand and led him to the roof way stairs. "I'll just have to wait for _you_ till later." The frown remained, but she managed to tug him down the flight into the bar.

"Dax, come with me to get a new gun from Sig. We've got to test it out."

"Jak, shut up. I don't want to hear your voice right now."

"Coming?"

"..._yeeeah._" he spat. Before leaving, she grabbed his arm and swung him around.

"Daxter, I had a lot of fun tonight." And with that, she planted a kiss right on his lips. A moment too soon, she pulled away, slowly turning with his hands still in hers until they broke part and fell to his sides. He sighed dreamily, and then turned to his partner.

"Let's go. And I don't wanna hear a _word_ outta you until we reach the range! Just cause you wanna get your grimy little hands on a new gun we don't even need..." His voice faded. She watched him leave, stomping out in front of his best friend, and thought; _I a girl couldn't have made a better wish. Pants. _

He smirked to himself as he stood, squatted over his long time friend's shoulder's, feeling like a happy, little Ottsel. It was weird, having felt so utterly awkward earlier, placed precariously between love and sex. Yet now, peering out over a giant, armor clad shoulder, at the new found heart beneath the moon, Daxter couldn't help but look down at his loose, baggy jeans.

"I fucking love these things."


End file.
